Discouraged

Posted On March 3, 2024

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

“By ourselves we are not qualified in any way to claim that we can do anything.
Rather, God makes us qualified.”

2 Corinthians 3:5 NOG

Ever wonder why God calls you to do something and then allows you to feel completely incapable of accomplishing it? If so, you are not alone. That seems to be the way He works. Why? So that we learn to rely on Him instead of trying to do things on our own.

Our plan for 2024 is a new format that blends an ongoing fiction story with a devotional each week. Our current story is a science fiction tale I’ve named Awakening. It’s a story about faith, with a focus on the core beliefs of Christianity. This week, our adventure continues with Chapter 6. The doctrinal focus is God the Son. (Click here for Quick Links to previous chapters.) As a reminder, I am using colored boxes to set the story apart from the rest of the post. So, any text that has a colored background is part of the fictional story. And any text that does not, is not. The video below gives a short recap of the story so far. I hope you enjoy Awakening!

Awakening
Chapter 6: Discouraged

Notes from Christian Doctrines Course
ICMC Training – Week 6
12 February 2318

“Jesus approached God’s will as a previously solved maze puzzle, one that shows the exact route to take. It’s not a direct route. The best maze adventures never are. It will wind in ways that don’t always make sense to us. Sometimes it will seem as though we’re heading into places where there’s nothing but dead ends. Then we’ll see a path we hadn’t considered before, and it will lead us out. At the end of this maze, which we call life, is a place of ultimate fulfillment and joy.”
-Robert Jeffress

Jesus prioritized His Father’s Word, His Father’s presence, and His Father’s will. He diligently studied Scripture, expertly wielding it as a defensive spiritual weapon against Satan as he tempted Jesus to abandon His earthly mission in the wilderness. He refused to allow pressures of the day distract Him from spending quiet time alone in God’s presence. And He diligently pursued God’s will, embracing it as the only thing truly essential in His life. God’s will for our lives doesn’t always make sense to us, but God doesn’t leave us to figure things out on our own. He is ready and willing to help us if we will make time to listen to Him.

“When we look at the cross we see the greatness of divine love, which delivers us from fear and kindles in us an answering love. We respond to love with love and no longer live in selfishness and sin. Other ways of putting it include the view that the sight of the selfless Christ dying for sinners moves us to repentance and faith.”
-Leon L. Morris

Jesus is our example in how to follow God’s path for our lives. He died so that we could live. Are we willing to do the same? Are we willing to put to death anything in our lives that detracts us from God? Are we willing to serve others regardless of the cost? Are we willing to respond to Him in love, in repentance, and in faith?

When Faith woke up she could still see his gray eyes. She could still feel his arms around her. She could still hear the words he whispered in her ear: I love you, Cassie. Her husband. She couldn’t remember him. But she could feel him. She could feel him in her soul. Or at least she could feel the space in her soul where he should be. She suddenly felt very empty. And lost. And heartbroken. Someone loved her. Someone with soft, gray eyes. Someone who said he’d do anything to protect her. And she couldn’t remember him. A lump formed in her throat and her eyes filled with tears. Please, she prayed. Please. It was the only word she could manage to form.

After a few moments the memory of the dream began to fade from her mind, and her thoughts drifted to her other dreams. She could remember all of them. And she knew they weren’t just ordinary dreams. The explosion at the ICMC was the same dream she had had before, and she now knew it had been a vision of a real event — a vision she had received weeks before it had actually happened. Were her other dreams last night also visions of the future? Or memories of earlier visions? Maybe. She felt overwhelmed by all of it. The husband she couldn’t remember. Visions she didn’t understand. A calling she felt completely unable to fulfill. God, please. Help me.

She lay in bed for a long time, trying to tame her anxious thoughts. She knew she shouldn’t give in to her worries, but it was hard. There was still so much she didn’t understand, and she was afraid of what may lie ahead. Most of all, she felt alone. These dreams had shaken her up. She didn’t know how to make sense of them. And with Michael gone, she didn’t even have anyone to talk to about them.

After a while, she decided that no good would come from lying in bed all morning. So, she forced herself to get up, get dressed, and get back to her studies. Her first order of business was to record all of her dreams from the night before. If she really was supposed to be a prophet, then they must mean something. She grabbed some coffee from the kitchen and got to work. She spent the next few hours at her computer. She was just about ready to take a break when she heard Peter’s voice calling to her from the airlock door.

“Hello? Faith? It’s Peter. I’ve brought you some lunch.”

Faith suddenly realized how hungry she was, and she was overwhelmingly grateful for the company. Thank You, she prayed silently when she realized God had just provided her with exactly what she needed. “Peter! Come in!” she called as she made her way to the airlock.

“I hope you’re hungry,” he said when he saw her. “I think I packed way too much food. If you’re up for it, I thought we could go have a picnic near the waterfall.”

“Sounds perfect. Thank you!” After several days of living mostly off of coffee and protein bars, the idea of a picnic lunch sounded wonderful.

Faith followed Peter back out of the airlock door and into the cave which concealed the ship. The air was cool and damp, and it smelled delightfully fresh. As they neared the mouth of the cave, she was once again stunned by the beauty of the waterfall and lush greenery just beyond it.

They chose a relatively flat and dry spot to sit down, and Peter began unpacking the food. He had indeed packed a feast. They enjoyed sandwiches, potato salad, fruit, cookies, and iced tea, making small talk while they ate. She was struck by how familiar the food was to what she grew up with. She didn’t know what she had been expecting, but considering this was a brand new world, she thought the local food would seem exotic or even alien to her. But it wasn’t. It was exactly like the food she would expect to find back on Earth.

When they were finished eating, Peter turned to her and considered her for a few minutes before asking, “So, Faith, how are you doing?”

The simple but caring way he asked suddenly reminded her of her father, and she felt tears beginning to well up in her eyes. “I …” she began, but her throat tightened and her voice began to break. I’m fine is what she had intended to say, but she couldn’t get the words out. Instead, she sat in silence as tears began to stream down her cheeks. Embarrassed, she fought to regain control of herself, feeling guilty for subjecting Peter to this sudden display of emotion. But he just sat quietly, patiently allowing her to work through whatever she was feeling.

After a few moments, she regained her voice and began to apologize. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she said, wiping the tears from her face.

Peter handed her a spare napkin left over from their picnic lunch. “There is no need to apologize,” he assured her. “Your brain is trying to process a lot of information right now. It’s perfectly normal to be emotional. I’m here if you need to talk through anything. It may help.”

“Thank you.” She wiped her eyes and nose with the napkin, trying her best to recover her composure. “I think it would help, actually.”

Very grateful for his kindness and willing ear, Faith began unloading everything on her mind. She told him how reading the dedication page in her Bible had brought back memories of her parents and her real name, but that she couldn’t recall anything past her high school graduation. She talked about her home in Georgia, her family, her friends, and how Peter reminded her a little bit of her father. She explained how a compulsion to throw herself into her studies had been awakened in her, and she’d been poring over her old notes and journal entries ever since. She described the images in her strange dreams — the creation of the wormhole, the ICMC explosion, the destruction of the tower in the garden, the evil man with dark eyes, and finally, the still vivid vision of her husband.

“Peter, do you know anything about my husband? Do you know what happened to him?” She was afraid of what he might say, but she had to know.

Peter was silent for several seconds. “He is still alive,” he said eventually, but he seemed to be hiding something. “How much do you remember about him?”

“Nothing at all. Just what I described in my dream. And just, I don’t know, a feeling that he’s out there somewhere. Peter, please.” He obviously knew something. Why was he being so secretive?

“Faith,” he began. Then he stopped and began again. “Cassie,” he continued, using her real name, “I have been watching over you since you arrived on Nova. God led me to you and told me to help you. So, please trust me now. I cannot tell you any more about your husband. Not yet. I believe there is a reason your memory of him hasn’t returned. I believe God has a plan much bigger than you or I can see right now, and I think your memory loss is somehow a part of it.”

“But …” Faith started to protest, but she didn’t know what to say.

“You have a gift, Faith,” Peter continued, switching back to her new name. “The evil man in your dream? I believe that’s Devon Hargraves. Since the collapse of the wormhole, he’s been claiming more and more power here on Nova, and he’s dangerous. He’s hurt people. I think the reason your memory hasn’t fully returned is that God wants your mind clear of distractions so that you can focus on your task — I believe you’re here to stop him.”

“What?” A picture of those terrifying dark eyes from her dream formed in her mind, and she shivered. “What are you talking about? How am I supposed to stop him?”

“I’m not sure, but it seems God has something in mind that involves you. You said you dreamed of a tower in a garden?”

“Yes,” Faith replied, “a tower that gets destroyed by some kind of lightning or fire from the sky.” She didn’t know where he was going with this.

“Hargraves is building that tower right now.” Peter paused, maybe waiting for her to connect the dots, but she still didn’t see what this had to do with her. His voice took on a hard edge as he continued: “Hargraves is diverting resources meant for other projects in order to create his garish symbol of power, and he’s winning more people over to his cause every day. He wants to rule this world. But he’s evil, Faith. He’s evil, and he’s dangerous. He’s got to be stopped!” His voice softened a little, but his tone was still very serious as he said, “I believe that you are the one God is going to use to stop him.”

Faith didn’t know how to respond to any of this. Was she supposed to call down fire from Heaven? Did Peter think she was some kind of modern Elijah? She was just Cassie Davis, a nobody from Georgia. What did he expect her to do? She sat in silence for a few moments, trying to make sense of everything. But she just couldn’t. It was all too much. Finally, she looked up at Peter and said, “I just wanted to know about my husband.”

Peter smiled sympathetically. “Of course. I’m sorry. This must all be a little overwhelming for you.” He took her hand in both of his. “Your memory will return, Faith. Believe that. Trust God’s timing and focus on what He’s calling you to do.”

“I will. I do. I’m trying ….” Faith wanted to be strong. She wanted to fulfill her purpose here. But she didn’t know how. “I just don’t know how to do this,” she admitted.

“I know you don’t,” he said, gently. “It’s okay. If you said you did, then I’d be worried. But don’t be discouraged. God will give you everything you need to do His work. Just stay connected to Him and keep trusting Him to guide you. He will tell you what to do.” He squeezed her hand reassuringly and then let it go. She smiled, feeling a little better.

He smiled back, and his voice took on a playful tone. “You remember what the ancients were commended for, don’t you? I’ll give you a hint,” he prompted. “It wasn’t their wisdom. It wasn’t their strength.”

She knew he was referring to Hebrews 11. “It was their faith,” she said.

“Exactly. It was their faith — Faith.” He smiled broadly, proud of his little play on words. “Just have faith, and God will take it from there.”

She smiled back. He definitely reminded her of her father. That was exactly the kind of dad joke he would have made. She wondered if Peter had any kids. She suddenly realized that she didn’t know anything at all about Peter’s life. She had been so focused on herself that she hadn’t taken the time to find out more about him. Humbled by his selfless kindness to her, she searched for the right words to express her gratitude, but she couldn’t seem to come up with anything suitable. So, she simply said, “Thank you, Peter.”

“You bet, kiddo.” He winked at her, and a warm feeling grew in her heart, chasing away the emptiness that had been there earlier.

As she helped Peter pack up their lunch dishes, she offered a silent prayer of thanks for her new friends. She wasn’t alone. God had just shown her that. He was with her, and so were Peter and Michael. God was working through them to protect her, help her, and show her that she was loved. Maybe she had only known them for a few days, at least as far as she could remember, but they already felt like family.

Peter slung on his backpack and prepared to head out. They said their goodbyes and he promised to return the next day to check on her. As he made his way back into the forest, he turned and waved one last time. She smiled and waved back before he disappeared from view. She stood and watched the water for a few more minutes, letting the sound of it soothe her as she replayed the day’s events in her mind.

God, please. Help me. This morning, that had been her prayer. This afternoon, He had done just that.

Faith spent the rest of the day focused on her studies. After Peter’s visit, she worked with a renewed sense of urgency but also with a renewed sense of hope. She knew difficult things were ahead, but she also knew that she was not alone. God was with her, and so were her friends.

She still wondered about her husband. How could she not? But Peter told her that he was alive. Maybe that was enough for now. And maybe it was best if she got her memory of him back before trying to find him. It would make for an awkward reunion if she couldn’t remember him!

She tried to push all her fears and worries from her mind and focus on the task before her: Prepare to face the evil that exists in this world. It was a terrifying assignment, one she felt completely incapable of accomplishing on her own. But that was the point, wasn’t it? As she knew from her studies, God often chose the most unlikely people to work through. The only requirement was faith. Maybe she didn’t have anything else, but she had that. And that was enough.

Before she went to bed that night, she got on her knees and spent a long time in prayer. She prayed for wisdom and strength. She prayed for Peter and Michael. She prayed for her family and friends back on Earth. And she prayed for her husband, wherever he was.

Personal Journal of (*NAME REDACTED*)
ICMC Training – Week 6
15 February 2318

“During His time on earth, Jesus suffered…. Jesus suffered verbal attacks on His character, led by some of the most respected people of His time…. Jesus suffered the betrayal of friends…. Jesus suffered the rejection of the people…. He hung on the cross…. Jesus endured all the suffering this world had to offer so that He could truthfully say to us when we suffer, ‘I know how you feel.'”
-Robert Jeffress

This quote from Robert Jeffress seems appropriate for me today. I’ve been having the dreams again. Dreams of an explosion at the ICMC and dreams about the collapse of the wormhole. I talked to (*NAME REDACTED*) about it, and he agrees that they seem like more than just dreams. He thinks I should keep quiet about it for now. But I truly believe they are visions of what’s to come, and I believe I am supposed to do something about it. I can feel it in my gut.

So I did. First, I shared them with my friend (*NAME REDACTED*) when we went for coffee this morning. She listened politely but then gave me a strange look when I told her I felt called to take this to the ICMC. She told me she thought it would be a bad idea and then suddenly “remembered” that she had somewhere else she was supposed to be. When I saw her later in class, she seemed distant, and she left as soon as class was over instead of waiting for me as she usually did. Maybe I’m imagining it, but it seems like she was trying to avoid me.

I tried not to let her reaction get to me. After all, it was the ICMC that I really needed to share this with. So I went to (*NAME REDACTED*) at the ICMC and told him about my dreams. I made it clear that these don’t feel like ordinary dreams, but visions of the future. I explained that I feel called to share them and warn people about what’s going to happen … And I was promptly dismissed. Oh, he humored me and let me talk. But he obviously didn’t take anything I said seriously.

I went home and told (*NAME REDACTED*) about everything that had happened, and instead of being sympathetic, he got angry with me. He said that I could be jeopardizing our positions at the ICMC and that I should have talked with him before going to anyone else about this. I don’t know. Maybe he’s right. But I can’t go against my calling, can I?

Honestly, I’m not sure if even he truly believes me. I’m sure he wants to, but I don’t know if he does. And who would blame him? I’m some kind of prophet with visions of the future? It all seems so crazy! And yet, I know it’s all true. And I know I have to do whatever I can to make people understand.

I guess that’s what I’m really afraid of. What if no one believes me? Not even my own husband? Will I have the courage to do this on my own? I hope so. I pray I will have enough faith.

“An act of faith is an act of a finite being who is grasped by and turned to the infinite…. Faith is certain in so far as it is an experience of the holy. But faith is uncertain in so far as the infinite to which it is related is received by a finite being. This element of uncertainty in faith cannot be removed, it must be accepted. And the element in faith which accepts this is courage.”
-Paul Tillich

“Putting our faith in God the Son opens a new future to us and unlocks a new perspective on the world around us.”

Robert Jeffress

This week’s Scripture passages remind us not to grow weary or get discouraged. The Lord is always with us and He will guide us. And when He calls us to do something, He will give us whatever we need to do it. As Paul explained in his second letter to the Corinthians (2 Cor. 12:10), we should actually delight in our weaknesses and shortcomings, because this allows God’s strength to flow through us. Then we’ll be amazed as what seemed impossible suddenly becomes possible!

God’s list of requirements for those He has called is short. We don’t have to be powerful or wise for God to be able to use us. All we need is faith.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9 NIV

References:

• Christian Believer: Knowing God with Heart and Mind — Readings. Abingdon Press, 1999.
• Jeffress, Robert. What Every Christian Should Know: 10 Core Beliefs for Standing Strong in a Shifting World. Baker Books, 2023.
• Morris, Leon L. “Subjective View or Moral-Influence Theory.” The Portable Seminary, edited by David Horton and Ryan Horton, Bethany House, 2006, pp. 137-138.

Images & Audio:

• Images created using Midjourney Bot AI image generator, midjourney.com
• Audio clips from mixkit.co